Succubus Lord 7 Page 13

  Then I yanked the log into the air and hurled it directly at the Sister of Gluttony.

  With a mighty swing of her axe, the log was cut at a diagonal angle so it was now two large, deadly skewers.

  I turned the massive spikes around in the air and launched them down onto Zepar’s position.

  The armored demon raised his shield in the air, and the halves of the log stuck into it harmlessly. Then Zepar cut them away with a swipe of his sword and bared his teeth in a snarl.

  “Did you really think I was going to fall for the same trick twice?” he sneered. “Zepar does not play games, mortal.”

  While the demon was distracted, Todd and I had zipped around behind him on the battlefield. The imp dropped me off on the ground, and then he raised himself into the air and shot across the landscape toward Zepar.

  “Too bad you don’t like games, bro,” Todd chuckled. “Because we’re about to play ‘pin the sword on the Zepar.’ You go first!”

  Todd grabbed the edge of the demon’s cape and used his momentum to flip it over the fucker’s head.

  As Zepar fumbled around to regain his eyesight, I nodded to the two succubi who hovered above him. Then all three of us darted toward the distracted demon as Todd laughed maniacally.

  “Who turned out the lights, asshole?” he prodded.

  “You annoying little fiend!” Zepar growled. “I’m going to pop your head off your body like a cork!”

  “Ohhh, so you’re gonna squeeze until I pop off, huh?” Todd giggled. “Promise that you’ll at least buy me dinner first.”

  Once we were in position, I blasted the exposed back of Zepar with a beam of bronze Hellfire and drew my sword. As his plated armor vibrated at a subatomic level, I pulled back my blade and stabbed it into his back.

  At the same time, Cupi and Gula swung at him with their own attacks.

  All three of the blows passed through the armor and landed against the weak flesh of the bastard.

  Zepar howled in pain, spun around, and smashed into us with the blunt side of his shield.

  A wave of pain reverberated through my body as I felt myself being tossed across the marketplace. I crashed through a couple of vendor carts and took out a few massive tent poles before my momentum skidded to a stop on the dirty ground. My entire body ached with white-hot pain, and for a minute I didn’t think I was going to be able to stand up on my own.

  But I had to. We’d killed this asshole once before, and we could sure as fuck do it again.

  Finally, I rolled over, forced myself to my knees, and stumbled into an upright position. Right in the nick of time, too.

  Zepar’s spiked shield was hurtling directly at my head, and I quickly threw up a wall of protective purple flames to deflect it. The collision of the giant shield and the violet Hellfire was intense, and the shockwave of the impact shot across the marketplace and shattered several more carts and shelves.

  The demon called his shield back into his hands, but Gula intercepted it in midair with a huge ball of fire before it could return. Zepar’s shield hit the ground, ricocheted off, and lodged itself into the brimstone of one of the nearby houses.

  Gula then flew down and struck the demon in the helmet with her axe, but it did little damage.

  Zepar’s armored hand shot up, grabbed Gula around the ankle, and whipped her into the nearest building. The redhead’s body smacked into the brimstone, and she fell to the ground, unconscious.

  The demon moved on the succubus as Todd and Cupi both tried to stop him with their own spells of red, but nothing was working. He lifted his sword into the air, and I instinctively smacked the tattoo on my arm to call her back.

  The white light rocketed across the bazaar, engulfed Gula, and returned her to Earth Realm just as Zepar’s blade came down on the ground where she laid.

  Zepar turned around to face me when he saw what I had done, and then he let out a primal roar of anger as he lumbered forward.

  I reached down for my sword and realized it was still lodged in the demon’s back. He was limping as he stomped across the ground, so at least it wasn’t a total loss.

  Just then, a cloaked figure flew onto the scene and struck Zepar in the chest with their feet. As the demon’s momentum was halted, the figure backflipped through the air, caught themselves on their two massive black angel wings, and drew two swords. The hood of the cloak fell down to reveal a head of straw-blonde hair and the pointed features of our newfound friend, Eligor.

  “Long time, no see, Zepar,” she mused.

  “Eligorrrr,” he retorted with a growl. “It hasn’t been long enough.”

  The demon swung his colossal weapon at the fallen angel with enough force to take down a concrete pillar. There was a loud clang as metal struck metal, and then we all let out a gasp of surprise.

  Eligor was still floating in the exact same spot, and she had caught Zepar’s blade between her two swords as if it were nothing. The fallen angel let a massive grin spread across her face as she thrust her weapons upward and forced her opponent to stumble backward. Without missing a beat, the knight flew around to Zepar’s rear and slashed at Zepar’s legs.

  The attack was enough to bring him to his knees, but he was still able to strike the blonde woman with a quick blast of red Hellfire.

  Eligor let out a grunt of pain as she spiraled downward and smashed into the ground with a dull thud. Instantly, she was back on her feet with her swords drawn in a defensive position.

  Zepar approached the knight at full-speed, but this was exactly what she wanted. Eligor held out her swords in front of her body and then fell backward the second the demon ran into them. She used the bastard’s own momentum against him, and she flipped the gargantuan demon into the building behind her.

  Cupi, Todd, and I ran over and stood beside the knight.

  “That was straight-up badass, Goldilocks,” Todd whistled.

  “Thank you, imp,” the knight said as she cracked her neck, “but the fight is far from over. Zepar’s armor is nearly impenetrable. How were you able to get a sword lodged in it?”

  I summoned bronze Hellfire into my hands and held it up for the knight to see.

  Her eyes widened when she realized what it was. “You … you have the power of Heaven and Hell?” Eligor gasped.

  “I do,” I confirmed with a nod. “I couldn’t really stay incognito if I went around broadcasting it to everyone I met down here, now could I?”

  “It would have been useful to know beforehand,” the blonde shot back coyly. “But it’s better late than never. Especially now that it gives me an idea … ”

  “Shoot,” I implored as I watched Zepar weakly stand back to his feet.

  “How powerful is your telekinetic magic?” she asked. “Can you use two spells at once?”

  “I’ve done it before, but it makes both of the spells weaker,” I admitted.

  “Do you have another telekinetic caster on your team?” she asked curiously. “Because if you do, now would be the time to use them.”

  I nodded, placed my hand on the tattoo of the glowing purple eye, and called forth Libidine. The dark-haired succubus appeared in a literal flash with the black-and-white duffel bag in tow.

  “I didn’t know if we needed this now or not,” she giggled with a shrug. “But I figured it couldn’t hurt to bring along a bag full of Todd’s sweet treats.”

  “I’m going to rip your spines out of your bodies and display them on my mantle!” Zepar growled from a distance.

  He reached up, called on his shield with green flames, and then yanked it out of the wall it’d been stuck in. The shield returned to the demon, and he smashed his sword against it in an act of intimidation.

  “When he charges us, I want you three to grab him by the hilt of the sword,” Eligor explained to the succubi and Todd. “Whatever you do, make sure you hold him in place.”

  “The hilt of his sword?” Cupi retorted. “How are we going to--”

  “Not Zepar’s sword,” the knight explained. “
Jacob’s. The one that’s jutting out of his back.”

  My friends looked at me for confirmation, and I gave them a nod of approval. Eligor had earned my trust so far, and I figured she knew what she was doing.

  Zepar ran at us with his sword trailing behind him like a deadly tail. His footsteps thundered against the ground, and off in the distance I could see a few more of Azazel’s Elite Guards drawing closer to the battle.

  It was now or never.

  Once Zepar was about thirty feet away from our position, the two succubi and Todd flew around behind him. Todd and Cupi grabbed onto the hilt of the sword with their hands at the same time Libidine cast a spell of green Hellfire around the blade. All three of them were yanked forward by Zepar’s momentum, but they quickly regained themselves and pulled back against his bulk.

  The demon’s massive feet continued to move along the ground, but he wasn’t going anywhere. Lo and behold, it fucking worked.

  “Hurry, guys!” Libidine grunted. “I don’t know how long we can hold him!”

  “Jacob, now!” Eligor ordered and pointed at the demon’s armor.

  I closed my eyes and thought about everything terrible Zepar had ever done. Every innocent life he’d taken under the command of Azazel. Every person he’d fucked over when he was in disguise on Earth. Most importantly, I thought about how much of a pain in the ass he was for my friends and I.

  I could feel the power surging through my body, and I channelled it all into my hands as I clapped them together. A huge beam of bronze Hellfire struck Zepar in the head, and he shrieked as his head rattled around inside of his vibrating helmet.

  Eligor took off in a full sprint toward the incapacitated demon. She got about ten feet from the bastard before she knelt down, pushed herself into the air, and flew forward as if she had been blasted out of a cannon. The blonde knight held her swords down at her sides, and then she whipped them upward the second she was within striking distance.

  Zepar’s screams stopped the second she passed by, and his head slid off his shoulders and plopped onto the ground. Blood spurted like a geyser from his stump of a neck as his body went limp. The succubi and Todd released their hold on Zepar, and his lifeless form fell to the ground with an earth-shaking thud.

  The guards who were approaching stopped in their tracks and stared at the scene with horror in their eyes. Their leader was dead, taken out by the same people who had just slain dozens of their brethren. Several of the cowards dropped their weapons and fled, but a few more of them continued to advance.

  Libidine landed down in front of them and held up her hand forcefully. All of the charging guards halted as their expressions went slack-jawed and their eyes glazed over.

  “There is nothing to see here,” she commanded the Elite Guard. “You will clean up this mess and tell Azazel Zepar wanted to start a coup, and that he killed many of your brothers before he was finally brought down. Tell the citizens of this village to go back about their business. There is nothing to see here.”

  The guards tensed back up and began to survey the scene.

  “Holy fuck … ” one of them muttered. “There’s so much blood. How did this happen?”

  “Zepar happened,” another guard spoke up. “The crazy bastard thought he could overthrow Azazel? Ha! Not while we’re around, buddy.”

  Libidine turned around and began to head back toward us with a coy smile on her face.

  “You four over there!” one of the guards called out angrily. “Get out of here. This is official Elite Guard business. Disperse and go back to your festival.”

  “Of course, sir,” I said as I raised my hands into the air. “We’ll get out of your hair, alright?”

  The four of us turned around and quickly fled down a nearby alleyway. We came out the other side into a small crowd of people who had been gathered around, trying to see what all the commotion was about. The second we were safely within the small group, we doubled over with laughter.

  “I-I can’t believe that worked!” I laughed.

  “Neither can I,” Libidine admitted through her chuckles.

  “That was some Justice League shit back there, guys,” Todd observed. “We were all ‘psssssh!’ and then Jakey was all ‘neowwwwww’ and then Eligor went over and chopped his fucking head off.”

  As Todd spoke, he reenacted our actions in a completely over-the-top manner. He accidentally smacked a few bystanders, but they simply shot him a dirty look before they continued walking.

  “What can I say?” Eligor shrugged. “We make a great team. Lilith is glad to have you on our side.”

  I instantly sobered up at the knight’s words. “We’re not on Lilith’s side,” I reminded her. “We’re just two enemies who currently share a common goal.”

  “Agreed,” the knight nodded. “Perhaps I got ahead of myself on that one. I’m still far too skilled to consider you my equal.”

  “Is that so?” I asked with a raised eyebrow. “I guess I’ll just have to show you my skills first-hand.”

  “I’m not sure even that will suffice,” the knight admitted. “But we will see.”

  “We will see,” I reiterated with a smile. “Now, where is Berith? We have a sword to find.”

  Chapter 8

  “The secretary of Hell, huh?” Todd asked curiously as we made our way through the streets of the Festival of the Dejected One. “Why the fuck does Hell even need a secretary? Can’t they just like, use magic to conjure up a magic mist or some shit to do the grunt work?”

  “In theory they could,” Eligor explained, “but Berith actually enjoys his job. In fact, he has gone on record that he wants to keep at it for all eternity.”

  “Ohhh, so he’s a nerd,” Todd said with a nod. “Got it.”

  “What does a Secretary of Hell even do?” I added to Todd’s query. “Is it like the secretary for an office building?”

  “I’m not very familiar with your Earth Realm ways,” Eligor admitted. “Down here, Berith’s role is to manage the archives of Hell as well as set up any negotiation meetings between Lucifer’s different factions. Basically, he’s a point person for anything the Prince of Darkness needs completed as well as the keeper of all of the different Circle’s histories.”

  “So almost exactly like a human secretary,” I mused. “Only with a lot more violence and fury.”

  “Remember Ms. Murphy?” Todd reminded me. “I’d be willing to put money on her being more evil than Berith, bro.”

  “The secretary for our high school?” I racked my brain as I tried to remember.

  “That’s the one!” the imp confirmed. “She was hot as fuck, but she was one of those ‘Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned’ kinda girls. Like, the kind whose vagina would trap you like a Chinese finger trap just so you’d be forced to get her pregnant and stay with her.”

  “That’s … oddly specific,” Libidine noted. “Did she do this to you, Todd?”

  “Of course not, Lib,” he reassured us with a wave of his hand. “The Toddster likes to follow that old mantra of ‘don’t stick your dick in crazy.’ Unfortunately, Jakey here doesn’t follow that same advice.”

  “Are we really gonna talk about Tamira now?” I sighed angrily. “I think you found out how to make Hell even worse.”

  Todd made a hissing noise and put his fingers over his heart in a cross shape. “Why would I ever bring up that she-demon?” he said with pure bile in his voice. “I agree, she’s the one thing that could make Hell even worse! I was talking about Crazy Eyes. It’s literally in her name, bro.”

  “Her name is technically ‘Ira,’” I laughed. “Or ‘Maggie’ if she’s on the campaign trail.”

  “Either way, you’re a braver man than I am,” Todd chuckled. “Although I do love her sense of humor. It’s sadistic and twisted and dark, just like me.”

  “You think Ira is twisted?” Libidine couldn’t contain her amusement. “Wait till you meet Invidia. Ira’s a little more lively than the rest of us, and she definitely has her … odd t
astes, but Invidia is on a whole other level of dark.”

  “Yeah, yeah,” the imp continued. “She’s the fabled big-tiddy goth girlfriend. Jakey’s really getting a variety of chicks with the Circle of Sin, isn’t he?”

  “We’re succubi, Todd,” Cupi took over. “If every harem had girls who were exactly the same, our clients wouldn’t exactly be satisfied, would they?”

  “You succubi and your harems,” Eligor chuckled and shook her head. “I’m glad I was never a part of that world. I was created to be a divine warrior, not a personal fucktoy.”

  “Easy now, Eligor,” Cupi hissed back at the knight. “I was an angel at one point, too. And look at me now. Best choice I’ve ever made.”

  “Second best, you mean,” Libidine added as she ran her hand across my chestplate.

  Cupi blushed a little bit and sized me up. “Correct, Sister,” she agreed with a grin. “The second best choice.”

  “You’re totally making me queasy, guys,” Todd sighed. “All this talk of fucking and lovey-dovey stuff is making me feel like I need a taco or something.”

  “You’re in luck, then,” Eligor said as she nodded toward a nearby tent. “That man over there is selling kebab pitas.”

  “Keee-bob’s?” Todd asked curiously. “I’m not eating some ‘specially-made’ chili from a dude named Bob, am I?”

  “Of course not,” the blonde knight chuckled. “A kebab pita is basically the Middle-Eastern version of a taco. Tacos don’t exist in the ‘Middle Ages,’ so this is probably the closest thing you’re gonna get.”

  “Well, sign me the fuck up, then,” Todd exclaimed as he dashed off toward the vendor.

  The rest of us looked at each other, and I heard my stomach rumble longingly.

  “I don’t know about you guys, but I could also go for some grub,” I announced. “Besides, Todd’s not gonna know what to even barter with for those things.”

  The four of us walked over to the vendor’s line, and instantly my nose was filled with the scent of savory meat, fresh dough, and all sorts of exotic spices. It was all I could do to keep from drooling as I looked over the people who already had their kebabs.