Succubus Lord 7 Page 15

  “Why don’t we start at the beginning?” Eligor suggested. “Tell them all about Lilith, her creation, and her fall? It’s a tale she refuses to tell herself.”

  Berith sat down on the cushioned chair, adjusted his cloak, and clapped his hands together happily. “The Fall of Lilith?” he exclaimed. “That’s actually one of my favorite stories to tell! Right next to the Fall of Lucifer, of course.”

  As the demon spoke, his incense burner puffed out clouds of sweet leaf. At the same time, the invisible Todd was standing behind Berith, blowing out mouthfuls of smoke every minute or two.

  This idea was so fucking crazy. It had better work.

  “So, let’s start at the beginning, shall we?” Berith began. “Being from Earth yourself, you probably know all about Genesis. How the Exalted One created the Heavens and the Earth, as well as all of the animals and plants and mankind itself. So, naturally, you know about Adam and Eve. But there was another woman before Eve came about. Have you ever noticed how, in Genesis, woman is seemingly created twice? Earthly scholars will tell you it’s a simple mistranslation of the original Hebrew texts, but it’s not. The first woman created to be Adam’s wife was Lilith.”

  “That’s some crazy shit,” I said as I tried to put on an act. “You’re telling me all that stuff my momma’s preacher told me was wrong?”

  “It’s a lot to take in, I know,” Berith reassured, “but I promise you I only speak the truth. Lilith was the first wife of Adam, but he and the Exalted One quickly grew to dislike her.”

  “What for?” Cupi asked, even though she already knew the whole tale.

  “She wasn’t submissive like a ‘good wife’ was supposed to be,” he continued. “Mainly, Lilith refused to be on bottom whenever she and Adam would make love, and she wanted them both to be seen as equals in the eyes of their creator. ‘We were both made from the same Earth,’ is what she would always argue.”

  Todd let out another puff of marijuana smoke on the back of Berith’s head, and the demon looked around curiously.

  “Say, have any of you noticed my incense is smelling super sweet today?” he asked as he studied the three-headed dragon.

  “I wouldn’t know,” Eligor lied. “Not that I’m not interested in your incense purchases, but would it be possible to continue with the story? Lilith wants them back at a reasonable hour.”

  “Of course, of course,” Berith sighed as he took in another deep breath. “Are you sure that--you know what? Never mind. Where was I?”

  “‘Created from the same Earth,’” I reminded the storyteller.

  “Oh, right.” He cleared his throat. “Tensions mounted between Lilith and Adam for months, until it finally came to a head. One day, when Lilith and her husband were in the midst of an argument, she uttered the true name of the Exalted One, sprouted a pair of wings, and flew out of the Garden of Eden. She was tracked down by a trio of angels, but she defeated them with ease. Once Lilith had made it clear she wasn’t returning to her husband, the Exalted One created another wife for him out of his rib bone, and well, you know the rest of that story. As for Lilith, she swore to take revenge on her husband by serving Lucifer and acting as a succubus, seducing the children of Adam and Eve from then until the end of time.”

  “The ultimate ‘fuck you’ move,” I noted. “I like it.”

  “Over the millennia, Lilith, a lowly succubus, rose up the ranks on Lucifer’s Great Chain of Being until she was anointed as one of the Nine Demon Queens,” Berith finished. “And that, my newfound friends, is where she remains today.”

  “Which Circle does she reside over?” I asked, genuinely curious.

  “Why, the First Circle, of course,” he answered in a matter-of-fact tone. “She is the Queen of Asmodeus, the Demon King of Lust, after all.”

  “‘Queen’ is putting it kinda lightly, don’t you think?” Eligor nearly spat. “Lilith has no allegiance to Asmodeus whatsoever. It’s purely a political marriage. Besides, we all know who really runs the show around there.”

  Berith’s eyes narrowed, and I noticed they were now becoming somewhat bloodshot.

  “Be careful what you say here, Eligor,” he warned. “I may be your ally, but I still report to Lucifer. We both know Demon Kings are higher up than Demon Queens on the Great Chain of Being.”

  “Sure, sure,” Eligor conceded, even though I could tell she wanted to keep arguing. “How about another story?”

  The demon continued to endow us with his wisdom for the next thirty minutes or so. He told us the tale of Lucifer’s fall and the first few wars between Heaven and Hell. Berith also enlightened us with the story of Azazel’s corruption of man, how he taught them everything they needed to know about warfare and battle strategies. There was one point where he explained, somewhat fanatically, about how Lucifer had been playing the long con and that everything he’s done over the last few centuries was setting the stage for the apocalypse.

  As he went on and on, the demon began to slur and stumble of his words.

  I myself was starting to feel a bit woozy from the effects of the weed, and we needed to act quickly if we wanted to remember anything he told us.

  “Our time is almost up, Berith,” Eligor sighed. “But there is one more story I’ve always been curious about. The Unhallowed Sword.”

  Berith made a shocked face and nearly wobbled out of his chair. “That’s quite a leap, ya know,” he exclaimed, now high as a kite. “Going from the apocalypse to the Unhallowed Sword?”

  “It’s not that much of a leap,” the blonde knight said with a shrug. “It is quite significant to the Revelation, if I recall. It’s the sword that is said to break Lucifer from the chains the Chosen One will capture him with, no?”

  Berith rubbed his tired eyes and nodded somberly. “It is,” he explained. “The magical sword that is able to cut through anything, even the most powerful Demonic or Divine spells.”

  “Of course I’m familiar with that part,” Eligor admitted. “Every demon and fallen angel is aware of what it does … but I’ve always been curious as to where it is located. Lucifer must keep it under tight lock and key.”

  Berith took a second to process the knight’s words, and then he crossed his arms over his belly and began to rock back and forth. The demon had his mouth open and eyes closed as if he were laughing, but all that was coming out was the occasional squeak.

  “You--you want to know where the Unhallowed Sword is?” he guffawed. “That’s, uh, not really something anyone knows.”

  “Of course it is!” Eligor implored. “You’re the goddamn Chief Secretary of Hell. Are you really going to sit there and tell me you have no idea where it is?”

  The man with the crooked nose stopped rocking and went deadly serious. “I never said I had no idea,” he explained. “Just that I don’t know for a fact.”

  Now we were getting somewhere.

  “Nope.” Eligor shrugged, obviously trying to lead Berith on. “You said you know nothing about where it is. Some historian you are.”

  “Now, wait a minute, wait a minute … ” Berith slurred. “I’ll have you know that it’s right here, in the Fourth Circle of Hell. Fuck, it’s right to the northeast, in the Lake of Fire.”

  “The Lake of Fire is massive,” Eligor continued. “That’s like saying you know there’s a needle in a haystack and just telling people to look for it blindly.”

  “Hold on,” Berith’s voice grew serious once more. “You’re looking for the Unhallowed Sword? Don’t tell me you and Lilith are planning a coup against the Demon Kings … ”

  The room grew tense for a second as we all stared at each other awkwardly. Right this second, the tension was almost as thick as Todd’s reefer fog.

  I coiled my hand into a fist, ready to vaporize Berith if he tried anything funny.

  Thankfully, that didn’t happen. Instead, the demon doubled over and laughed so hard he began to cry. The tension instantly ceased, and my friends and I all joined in the uproarious laughter.

  �
�I’m just messing with you, my friend,” he said through his laughter. “I know nobody is that stupid, to try and overthrow the balance of power that’s stood for hundreds of thousands of years.”

  “Oh, of course not,” Eligor said with a wave of her hand. “But, theoretically, if you had to take a guess, where in the Lake of Fire is this sword located?”

  “If I had to guess?” Berith pondered. “I’d say it has to do with the riddle that’s written in all of the scripture about the Unhallowed Sword. ‘Those who seek to find this sacred weapon need to look no further than in the eye of the storm, where the fertility of the buoyant meets the harsh, scalding reality of Hell.’ That’s all I’ve got to go off of, honest.”

  Eligor pretended to look down at her watch, and then she stood up gracefully. “I think our time is almost up, Berith,” she observed. “We need to get back to Lilith so she may give us further instruction. Thank you for all your help, old friend.”

  “Don’t--don’t even mention it,” the baked demon sighed. “It was just nice to have some company that actually talked back for a change!”

  The four of us exited the tent and instantly took in a long, deep breath. The air outside was a far cry from the reefer-infused haze that lingered around Berith’s dwelling, and I nearly choked from the contrast.

  “What do you think that means?” I coughed. “I’ve never been one for riddles.”

  “That’s why I’m Batman, and you’re Robin, bro,” Todd’s obviously stoned voice interjected. “The Riddler is no match for the Toddster.”

  “Let’s break it down,” Libidine pondered as we headed toward the exit of the village. “The riddle mentions fertility … maybe the sword is hiding in plain sight in one of the local brothels?”

  “That seems like an accident waiting to happen,” Cupi objected. “What about the comment about buoyancy? And the ‘reality of Hell?’ That makes me think it’s in a place where we get to see the ‘real’ Hell and not this illusion Azazel has created.”

  “I suppose that would make some sense,” Eligor pondered. “The Lake of Fire is about as close to the ‘real Hell’ as you can get. It’s quite literally a giant body of fire.”

  “You guys are overthinking it,” the stoned imp reassured us. “We just gotta Batman ‘66 this bitch. Watch.”

  The imp suddenly reappeared as his own impish self. His eyes were completely bloodshot, and I wondered just how strong the stuff he was smoking was.

  “The riddle mentioned something about ‘buoyancy,’” Todd began in Adam West’s voice. “When pronounced phonetically, buoyancy sounds a lot like ‘boy ant.’ And what does a boy ant do? It goes out and collects food for its queen. Where does the queen live? At the center of the colony. The sword is in the center of the Lake of Fire! Now, this riddle also talks about fertility. When is a woman most fertile? When she’s ovulating. Now, what else is fertile and shaped like an egg? An island with lush green grass! The sword is located on an island that’s floating at the center of the Lake of Fire!”

  “That … that actually makes sense,” Eligor gasped. “I figured it would be located somewhere along the shore, or maybe even deep down in the fire itself. That would clarify the ‘eye of the storm’ part of the riddle…”

  “Not to mention,” Cupi added, “a floating island would be buoyant, and touching the ‘harsh reality of Hell,’ the fire itself.”

  “Holy stoned imp, Batman,” I laughed. “I think you’ve solved it, Todd.”

  The imp did a little bow. “Thank you, folks,” he said jokingly. “I’m here till Thursday.”

  The five of us walked out of the village and continued on until we were in the middle of some wheat field at the edge of the property. Finally, we halted our gait and surveyed the area around us.

  “If my geography serves me right,” Eligor said as she closed one eye, raised her thumb into the air, and moved it around the landscape, “northeast should be this way.”

  The blonde knight pointed off into the distance, where the sky grew dark and cloudy and hung low over what appeared to be a desolate landscape.

  Now, that looked a lot more like the Hell I was familiar with.

  Chapter 9

  “Can we go over the plan one more time?” Libidine asked with a twinge of fear in her voice. “Just so I can have a little piece of mind.”

  The five of us had been traveling for almost six hours now, pausing only for the occasional bathroom break or to snag a drink of water from a well or stream. As we walked further and further northeast, the landscape began to change. The rest of the Fourth Circle was designed by Azazel to look like it was ripped straight out of medieval Europe, with its sprawling hills and valleys and grass so green it put my emerald Hellfire to shame. But now, we were venturing into a part of Hell that was much more ‘fire and brimstone.’

  Literally, the grass around us wilted and died, and we were left with rocky brimstone. Off in the distance stood an ominous mountain whose peak rose up into the dark clouds like a twisted, deathly spire, and bolts of lightning randomly lashed out from above. There was a pungent stench of sulfur all around us, mixed in with the occasional waft of burning hot lava.

  “Well, Liby,” I admitted, “to say we have a ‘plan’ is probably stretching it. We have a rough idea of where the Unhallowed Sword is, and we’re going to do our damnedest to retrieve it. We’ve come up with what feels like a million different ways to get to the center of the Lake of Fire, but we won’t be able to tell which one works until we actually get there.”

  “I still think we should just have the girls fly us out there,” Todd suggested. “That’d be about as quick and easy as your mom, bro.”

  “Excuse me?” I asked in annoyance. “I--”

  “I’m just fucking with you, Jakey,” Todd reassured. “I love your mom. In a strictly platonic way, of course. I’ve never once thought about her when I’m--”

  “Stop!” I ordered the imp. “Just … don’t finish that sentence. For my sake, and yours.”

  “I don’t think flying would work,” Cupi sighed. “There are many geysers of flame that randomly shoot out of the lake. As powerful as we are, getting hit by one of those is instant death. We could try to hover just out of their reach, but if we get too high up, our vision will be obscured by the clouds.”

  “Jacob and Libidine both have strong telekinetic powers,” Eligor argued. “Couldn’t you just teleport us all out onto the island?”

  “Not if we don’t know where it is,” I said. “Teleporting blind is the quickest way to have us all drop into the Lake of Fire headfirst.”

  “No bueno,” Todd added.

  “That’s right, ‘no bueno,’” I repeated. “Can’t you do anything about it? I thought you had elemental powers?”

  Eligor shook her head somberly. “I do,” she admitted, “but they’re not going to do us much good. My skill set is mainly focused on Earth and Water. Other elemental magic users can control fire and wind, but not me.”

  “Fucking Fire Nation,” Todd muttered under his breath.

  “That’s why I think Ira is our best shot,” I continued. “She’s got self-healing powers, and she can fly, so she could easily skim along the surface of the lake until she finds the island.”

  “That honestly sounds like the closest thing to a plan we’re going to get,” Libidine sighed. “What do we do when we get the Unhallowed Sword, anyway?”

  “When we get to the sword,” Eligor explained, “Jacob is the only one who can handle it. It’s been enchanted so it can only be wielded by the most powerful demons in existence. Think Lucifer, his lineage, the Demon Kings, etcetera.”

  “Wait, wait,” I said as I froze in my tracks. “I’m none of those things. How do you know the Unhallowed Sword will take to me?”

  Eligor’s eyes narrowed as her face grew somber. “I don’t,” she admitted, “but, from everything I’ve seen, you’re the most powerful of us all. If anyone can wield the enchanted weapon, it’s you, Jacob.”

  “Just out
of curiosity,” I asked cautiously, “what happens if it doesn’t take to me?”

  “It will,” the blonde knight promised. “But, if it somehow doesn’t, searing-hot chains will erupt from the base of the Lake of Fire, and you will be dragged down into its fiery depths for all eternity.”

  My eyes widened as I took in the knight’s words. “Oh,” was the only word I could muster. “Then I guess we’d better hope for the best, huh?”

  “Fear not, Jakey,” Todd said as he patted my leg in support. “I believe in you. What kind of a mentor would I be if I didn’t?”

  “Thanks, bro,” I chuckled.

  The team ventured onward for another twenty minutes, across the desolate landscape of the Fourth Circle’s outskirts. As we drew closer to our destination, the smell of sulfur grew stronger until it was nearly unbearable. Finally, we came over a small, rocky hill, and we saw it.

  The Lake of Fire.

  Eligor wasn’t kidding when she said this thing was massive. Flames of red, orange, yellow, and even blue danced across the ground in front of us for as far as the eye could see. Every now and again, a white-hot geyser of fire would sprout up from the bubbling surface while lighting cracked off in the distance.

  I could feel the intense heat of the Lake from all the way back here, and I wondered if we should get any closer.

  “So, the Unhallowed Sword is out there somewhere?” Libidine pondered as she surveyed the lake. “How are we ever going to find it?”

  “We go dead-center,” I instructed. “Thankfully, Eligor here has been kind enough to bring along one of her hand-drawn maps. Eligor?”

  The blonde knight nodded, fumbled around in her pocket, and produced a small piece of parchment. She unfolded the paper and then held it up to reveal a sketched out, topographical map of the Lake of Fire.

  “How did you get this?” Cupi gasped. “Or better yet, how did you get the information to draw this?”

  “That’s where it pays to have friends in high places,” Eligor answered ominously. “Lilith has resources all over Hell. She got me the notes on the Fourth Circle’s landscape, and I did the rest.”