Succubus Lord 7 Page 27

  Finally, after about a ten-minute walk, we reached the kitchen.

  Azazel must have liked his meals gourmet, because there was absolutely nothing in the kitchen that wasn’t modern. All of the countertops, sinks, and grills were made up of a shiny chrome that reflected the fluorescent lights above like a metal beacon.

  “Home sweet home,” Gula sighed, and then she walked over and began to wash her hands. “Just set the bodies over on the meat counter, and then we can get to work.”

  The rest of the team plopped the corpses down onto a large metal countertop, and each of us gagged from the smell.

  “I really hope you’re as good as a chef as you claim,” Eligor said as she held her nose. “These things reek of death.”

  “Ye of little faith,” Gula shot back. “Todd, I need you to get into the spice cabinet and fish out the salt, pepper, cumin, and garlic and onion powder.”

  “Cumin on steak?” Todd gasped. “What kind of--”

  “Now!” the redhead barked.

  “Yes, Chef!” the imp gulped and scurried off to find the ingredients.

  “Tris,” Gula continued, “I need you to grab one of those cast-iron pots, put a thin layer of oil into it, and then get it cooking over the stove.”

  The tall succubus nodded and then dashed over to the pots.

  “Eligor and Jacob,” she mused as she looked at us, “I want you to grab a cleaver and a filleting knife.”

  “Dare I ask what for?” Eligor sighed.

  Gula’s eyes narrowed. “You know exactly what for,” she said darkly.

  Eligor and I walked over and found a magnetic strip on the wall filled with all sorts of hanging knives. We quickly identified the two we needed, plucked them off the wall, and then went over to the dead demons.

  “This is really fucking gross,” I gagged. “Even for us.”

  “Like you said,” the blonde knight shot back. “We have to work with what we have.”

  I took a deep breath, raised the cleaver above my head, and then slammed it down on the demon grunt. I hit the space where his arm connected to his shoulder, and his entire appendage fell off with a wet pop.

  Eligor picked up the arm, held the knife to its flesh, and then began to carve off chunks of muscle into long, thin strips.

  Gula appeared over the knight’s shoulder with a large metal tray.

  “Put them on here,” she ordered.

  Eligor and I continued to hack ‘n slash the demon’s bodies until there was a large pile of meat on the tray. There was quite literally a small mountain of flesh, but we needed it to be as aromatic as possible if we wanted to attract all the demons to this area.

  “I got ‘em!” Todd exclaimed from across the room and held up a handful of metal tubes.

  “Well?” Gula growled. “They aren’t going to do us any good all the way over there, now are they?”

  “No, Chef!” Todd exclaimed as he ran over to the redhead.

  The succubus placed the tray of meat down on the counter next to us and began to season them en masse. Once she was satisfied, she dashed over to Tris and began to place them into the fryer.

  “Alright, guys,” Gula explained. “Go get in position. It’s showtime.”

  Todd, Eligor, Tris, and I quickly wiped the blood off our hands and ran out of the room. Then Tris led us down the hallways of the castle until we arrived at the main dining hall.

  The room was massive, and it looked way too nice for a place like this. The ceilings were at least fifteen feet tall, and the room itself had to have been the size of a football field. Old wooden tables were all over the hall, complete with equally old benches on their sides. They were all made of a fine dark oak, but they had certainly seen better days.

  I nearly doubled over in laughter when I saw what rested on the far wall. There, on the other side of the room, stood a massive mural of Azazel. He was in a goofy-as-fuck pose with one hand in a victorious fist and the other extending the Unhallowed Sword up to the sky. In the painting, the King of the Fourth Circle wore a crown made of solid gold, and he was standing atop the corpse of Raphael gloatingly.

  Yeah, that was definitely gonna be the first thing to go.

  “Up there,” Eligor said as she pointed toward the ceiling. “We can hide in the rafters.”

  Before I could even utter a word, I heard the metal of Eligor’s armor clash against mine as she flew behind me and then lifted me into the air. The tables on the ground became smaller as we rose up to the large wooden beams on the ceiling. Once we were level with the rafters, Eligor gently sat me down on the wood. It creaked underneath my weight, and for a moment I feared it was going to snap in two.

  Todd and Tris landed beside us, and they both clung to the wooden beam as they waited for the next step of the plan.

  As if right on cue, my nostrils began to pick up a garlicky, spicy scent.

  “Okay,” Todd mumbled. “I totally know that’s dead body and all, but that shit smells delicious.”

  “That’s the plan,” I chuckled. “I just really hope it works.”

  “It will,” Tris reiterated. “We lived here for hundreds of thousands of years, dude. The demons will come running the second they smell Gula’s cooking. Shit, we’ve been gone for so long, I wouldn’t be surprised if they tore the entire wall down trying to get here and taste Gula’s food.”

  We waited patiently as the smell of the food wafted through the building. Then, after a few more minutes, I heard a rumbling from far off.

  Suddenly, a whole horde of demon grunts burst through the door. They had their filthy noses in the air, and they sniffed hungrily as they searched for the source of the odor. Several of them were drooling down their pointed chins, and they were making an inhuman sound that reminded me of a chirping bird mixed with an angry raptor.

  “Fifty-nine … Sixty … Sixty-one … ” Tris counted in a whisper. “That’s it. With the other four already dead, that’s sixty-five, which should be all of them.”

  “Then it’s time to turn them into a demonic mush,” I mused.

  I closed my eyes and thought about the ultimate goal of this mission. Sure, I wanted to kill Azazel and take over his kingdom, but that wasn’t the main reason I was here. I was here because the fucker wouldn’t leave us alone. As long as the King of the Fourth Circle was alive, my friends wouldn’t be safe. He would keep sending his minions after us. He would keep watching us from the comfort of his home, with his stupid magic mirror giving up our every move on Earth Realm.

  Make no mistake, this entire mission was to protect my friends.

  I felt energy course through my body, and a dull tingle in my temples told me my horns had grown to full mast. I opened my eyes to see both of my arms were completely covered with purple Hellfire, and I was ready to cast the spell that was going to kill all these grunts.

  I couldn’t help but smile wickedly as I threw out my hands and summoned two giant walls of violet flames. The first one blocked the exit completely, and the second appeared right in front of that horrific picture of Azazel.

  The demons below me began to panic, and they pounded at the Hellfire barrier helplessly. A few of them looked up and started to hiss angrily, but I was in no mood for a fight.

  I clapped my hands together, and the two walls followed.

  There was a sickening crunch, followed by a wet squish.

  “Fucking grody, bro,” Todd whistled. “You ever seen those machines that squish Play-Doh into shapes? Because that’s totally what that looks like down there.”

  The imp was right.

  I released my spell, and a mess of blood, guts, and crushed bones splattered against the pristine red carpets of the dining hall.

  There had been sixty-one demons in this room, and now their bodies were nothing more than a heap of gore.

  “Alright,” Eligor sighed. “I’ll admit, that was very impressive.”

  “No time for celebration yet,” I interjected as I summoned a series of descending purple platforms. “We still have
a succubus to save.”

  I hopped down the makeshift staircase and landed on the brimstone floor.

  Todd, Eligor, and Tris fluttered down beside me, and then the four of us walked out of the dining area and into the hallway.

  “I just saw the whole thing!” Gula exclaimed when she came around the corner. “That was intense.”

  “I have a bad feeling that what just happened in there isn’t even close to the most intense thing that’s gonna happen today,” I sighed. “This mission is far from over.”

  “Agreed,” Gula said with a nod. “We still need to get to the top of the spire. Follow me.”

  The redheaded succubus led the way through the neon-lighted hallways. This entire place was built like a maze, and I was very grateful all of the Circle of Sin knew their way around. Without the succubi, we’d be flying blind in a hostile castle.

  And, as Todd would say, that would be no bueno.

  Finally, we came to a large red door. It was nearly double my height and nearly twice as wide. The initials “AK” were scratched into the door, and there was an oversized black metal ring that acted as the door knob.

  The only problem? It was completely covered with red Hellfire.

  “What’s the deal here, Gula?” I asked curiously.

  “It’s one of Azazel’s protective spells,” she grumbled. “Apparently, there are three tasks we have to complete in order to make it to the top of the tower, each with their own puzzle to solve. This is the first.”

  “Have any of you ever been past this part?” I asked the redhead.

  “Unfortunately, no,” Gula said as she hung her head in shame. “Azazel never let us into his keep, so none of us know for sure.”

  “There’s something over here,” Eligor pointed out as she walked over to the wall. “Something carved into the brimstone. It’s in Latin.”

  I approached the spot where the knight was pointing and squinted. Sure enough, there were several words scrawled into the black brimstone. I summoned red Hellfire into my hand, held it up so I could get better lighting, and started to transcribe.

  “It says ‘the domain of the damned,’” I pondered aloud. “And then there’s a bunch of numbers and symbols. I think … son of a bitch, it’s a math problem.”

  “Sia,” all four of my friends said in unison.

  “You’re probably right,” I laughed. “This shit is way to complex for me. I barely passed calculus in high school.”

  “I’ll go,” Gula volunteered. “I may be a decent chef, but I’m no help with riddles and math.”

  “You’re not just a ‘decent chef,’” I reassured the curvy redhead as I placed my free hand on her shoulder. “You’re the best goddamn chef in the universe.”

  Gula looked down at the ground and blushed.

  “Stop,” she muttered. “Send me back before I decide I want to push you to the ground and ride you right here and now.”

  “Tempting, but you’re probably right,” I chuckled.

  I released my grip on Gula’s shoulder, raised my finger to my arm, and tapped the tattoo of the flaming axe.

  Gula was engulfed with the brilliant white light and disappeared instantly.

  I moved my finger over to the flaming gold hand, pressed it into my bicep firmly, and summoned Superbia.

  The succubus’ petite figure appeared in the shimmering white spell, and then she stepped forward with a small shudder.

  “I’m still not sure I will ever be used to that,” she admitted. “What can I help with, Jacob?”

  I quickly explained the situation to Sia and watched her expression turn from one of concern to one of curiosity.

  Superbia walked over to the writing on the wall, rubbed her chin, and pondered its meaning. She stared at the scratched-up brimstone intensely for a few minutes, and then she spun around with a smug look on her face.

  “I thought you said this was going to be hard?” the madame giggled. “The answer to the math problem is ‘nine.’”

  “Nine?” I asked rhetorically. “What does that mean? Do we need to tap on it nine times or something?”

  “Perhaps we need nine people to break the spell?” Eligor suggested.

  “No,” Sia shook her head. “Azazel always came to this place on his own. Unless he somehow could split into nine different people, that is not it.”

  As Eligor, Sia, and I racked our brain and tried to figure out the puzzle, my nose caught the sweet scent of pot. I spun around and saw Tris and Todd had both lit up and were passing a thick joint back and forth between each other.

  “What?” Todd asked. “It’s ‘Mind-Fucker.’ This strain makes your brain go to crazy places, bro.”

  “Yeah, Jacob,” Tris added. “It’s opening up our minds and helping us think!”

  I facepalmed and turned back to the members of the team who were serious about solving the puzzle.

  “It also reads ‘the domain of the damned,’” I explained. “That has to be part of the equation.”

  “Hell does a lot of things in nines,” Eligor sighed. “There are nine Demon Kings, nine Demon Queens, nine factions of demons under each domain, nine circles of Hell--”

  “Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Tris stopped the knight in her tracks. “I think I’m having an epiphany.”

  Todd jumped to his feet and slapped his hands against his cheeks.

  “Somebody call a fucking ambulance!” he gasped. “Don’t worry, Slothy, the Toddster is trained in CPR!”

  “An epiphany, Todd,” I explained.

  The imp looked over at me, but his bloodshot eyes made me realize I needed to explain further.

  “Like, a sudden realization,” I continued.

  “Ohhhhh,” the imp said with a slow nod. “Why didn’t you just say so?”

  “It’s the nine Circles of Hell,” Tris interjected. “Think about it. ‘Domain of the damned?’ All of Lucifer’s forces are part of the Army of the Damned, and this is where we all live. It’s our domain.”

  “Okay, so we know what the text is referring to,” Eligor sighed. “But how does that help us open the door?”

  “Wait,” I questioned aloud. “Doesn’t each Circle of Hell represent a different theme associated with it? Like the Fourth Circle is greed, the First is Limbo, and all that?”

  “That’s right!” Sia gasped.

  “Boom,” Tris exclaimed as she dropped an invisible microphone. “That’s our password, guys.”

  I turned toward the door and opened my mouth.

  “In Latin,” Sia suggested. “Try it in Latin.”

  “Alright,” I agreed and returned my attention to the burning door. “Limbum. Libidine. Gula. Cupiditas. Ira. Dicitur haeresis. Violentiam. Fraud. Perfidae.”

  Suddenly, the flames of the door turned a bright orange, and then they disappeared with a flicker.

  “Fuck yeah!” I said as I pumped my fist into the air. “Way to go, Tris and Sia!”

  The large red door opened with a loud creek, and before us now stood an endless set of brimstone stairs.

  I looked back at my friends, nodded, and then began to ascend the path.

  We traveled up the stairs for nearly ten minutes before we came to the next obstacle. There was another red door, but this one was protected by purple Hellfire. The protective magic was being expelled around the door by a series of large, flamethrower-like spouts.

  “How the fuck do we get past this one?” Eligor growled. “Is there a math problem we have to solve again?”

  “I doubt it, Goldilocks,” Todd mused. “If I had to take a wild guess, and I’m just spitballing here, bro, I would say it has something to do with those two buttons on the walls over there.”

  On each side of the flaming door, built into the black brimstone wall, was a large black button. In front of the one on the left was a massive chasm. Meanwhile, there were a series of light beams that criss-crossed all over in front of the one on the right.

  “I’ve seen enough movies to know that those are both traps,” I acknowledged.
“I bet there’s Hellfire or spikes that shoot out if you touch one of those beams.”

  “Then we need Ira,” Sia suggested. “She can just run right through and then heal herself with her golden Hellfire.”

  “I’ll go back,” Tris spoke up. “I must admit, I’m not going to be in a decent state of mind for at least another half-hour or so.”

  I nodded at the Sister of Sloth, tapped the joint tattoo, and sent her back. Then I pressed down on the image of the flaming whip, and Ira appeared in the light of the spell.

  “Ohhhhh,” she whistled when she saw where we were. “Does this mean you need me to do something painful?”

  “That’s exactly what I need you to do,” I admitted and pointed to the two buttons. “These things are both booby-trapped, but we need them pressed if we want to go further.”

  “You don’t need to say another word,” Ira nearly moaned. “I rrrreaally hope there’s bone-crushing involved in this one!”

  The succubus’ large, bat-like wings sprouted from her back, and she zipped over to the button on the left.

  The second she was airborne over the pit, there was a metallic snap followed by a high-pitched whistle. Ira let out a grunt of pain and pleasure as a bunch of pointed metal spears shot through her body and turned her into a human pincushion. Several holes appeared in her wings, and her left leg was pushed up and pinned against her back. One of the long spears had punched all the way through her foot, but she didn’t seem to mind.

  Without missing a beat, Ira surrounded herself with golden Hellfire. She let out a few orgasmic moans as the light of her spell pushed the spears out of her body and slowly began to heal her wounds. The second she was back to full strength, the succubus shuddered with glee, reached out, and pushed the button.

  There was another mechanical click, but this time there were no spears.

  Ira fluttered over toward the spot with the beams and cackled insanely.

  “I hope this one is as much fun as the last!” she exclaimed.

  “That chick ain’t right, I tell you what,” Todd whispered to me quietly.

  As soon as Ira hit the light of the beams, there was a loud explosion, and her body was engulfed with red Hellfire. The attack held for a solid minute before it finally subsided. When it finally did, the Sister of Wrath stood triumphantly, still in one piece and aglow with her healing spell.